And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful
than the risk it took to blossom.
than the risk it took to blossom.
~Anais Nin~
I remember how it felt to be free and reckless with you. We were so natural, so easy, and a lot of fun. I remember how warm your arms were and how your eyes flicker at the sight of me. I remember everything. From our nonsense conversations to our silent fights. From our silly jokes to our pinky promises.
I know where I stand now. There was never a gray line, it was just a part of my foolishness. But would you understand if I told you how I really felt right now?
I missed you more than words can say. Every night before I go to sleep I wish you were here beside me. I missed how my tiny body fits in your arms. And when I wake up in the morning, I still look at my phone wishing you would send me a message that you just woke up. I'm still frightened at the thought that you were no longer here with me. Perhaps, you never have an inkling of how much I needed you.
For so long, I concealed my feelings for you. Then I took a chance and it felt great knowing there was a part of you that feels the same way that I do. But I forced the timing and there's a price that I should pay. Coming back to the shadows, it was tragic.
My feelings for you is too strong that suppressing it at this point is impossible. But I have to try harder and harder everyday. You may see me laughing and cracking jokes every once in a while, but if you would just look into my eyes you would see how much pain I'm going through.
You don't know how my knees weaken when you're getting close to me. You don't know how much I wanted to say those 3 words and be able to look into your eyes and plant a kiss on your lips again. I couldn't hug you or even hold your hand. I wanted to run to you but I can't. I have to stay away to make things right. It was hard to watch you again from a distance but I have no other choice. SO CLOSE but still SO FAR.
This song pretty summarizes everything...
I know where I stand now. There was never a gray line, it was just a part of my foolishness. But would you understand if I told you how I really felt right now?
I missed you more than words can say. Every night before I go to sleep I wish you were here beside me. I missed how my tiny body fits in your arms. And when I wake up in the morning, I still look at my phone wishing you would send me a message that you just woke up. I'm still frightened at the thought that you were no longer here with me. Perhaps, you never have an inkling of how much I needed you.
For so long, I concealed my feelings for you. Then I took a chance and it felt great knowing there was a part of you that feels the same way that I do. But I forced the timing and there's a price that I should pay. Coming back to the shadows, it was tragic.
My feelings for you is too strong that suppressing it at this point is impossible. But I have to try harder and harder everyday. You may see me laughing and cracking jokes every once in a while, but if you would just look into my eyes you would see how much pain I'm going through.
You don't know how my knees weaken when you're getting close to me. You don't know how much I wanted to say those 3 words and be able to look into your eyes and plant a kiss on your lips again. I couldn't hug you or even hold your hand. I wanted to run to you but I can't. I have to stay away to make things right. It was hard to watch you again from a distance but I have no other choice. SO CLOSE but still SO FAR.
This song pretty summarizes everything...
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