TYLER KNOTT GREGSON'S COLLECTION

I'm a big fan of Tyler Knott.  Once I started reading his works, I became hooked.  It's probably because we shared the same intense feelings towards someone that we yearn to be with....  

"I wonder how many," he whispered, glancing up, out, and beyond even the mountains in the distance. 

"How many what?" she wondered.

"More…how many more of these we’ll miss together."

The Pastel Fading of Early Summer Light (by TylerKnott)

I write every day

hoping that there is a chance

you will read them too.

What letters will fit

that form the words that tell you

how Much I love you?

How loud must I scream?

How long must I wait alone,

for you to find me?

Will those arms find me?

Will these arms wrap around you?

Will they meet here soon?

A bed is so cold

without you here to fill it.

A night is so dark.

Can’t you understand,

I don’t want another hand?

Can’t you see it’s you?

Longer the nights grow

and colder with it this bed.

Warm it. Light me. Now.

What will fill the dark

if not the light inside you?

What will shine on me?

Empty and hollow,

exhausted but waiting here

for your hand in mine.

Look close at my hands,

try to tell me they aren’t made

for holding you close.

Let’s just stay in bed

and we’ll let the day dissolve.

Let’s stay lost in sheets.

Can I trust these eyes,

when you’re still lying here and

the morning has come?

Grab tight the fabric

and wrap it in your fingers,

hold me close to you.

Somehow you bring out

the best of all things in me,

hiding for so long.

I hope you can see

how very hard I’m trying

to ease this aching.

I wanted your smile,

I wanted honest laughter,

all because of me.

It’s coming again,

the chill and frozen morning,

will you be there too?

Were I your shadow,

then come sunshine or moonlight,

we’d be together.

Visit http://tylerknott.com/ for more of his amazing collections

THE FLAME

Another night slowly closes in

And I feel so lonely

Touching heat freezing on my skin

I pretend you still hold me

I'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep

I'm in too far, I'm in way too deep over you

I can't believe you're gone

You were the first, you'll be the last

Wherever you go, I'll be with you

Whatever you want, I'll give it to you

Whenever you need someone 

To lay your heart and head upon

Remember, after the fire, after all the rain

I will be the flame

I will be the flam

Watching shadows move across the wall

I feel so frightened

I wanna run to you, I wanna call

But I've been hit by lightning

Just can't stand up for fallin' apart

Can't see through this veil across my heart, over you

You'll always be the one

You were the first, you'll be the last

Wherever you go, I'll be with you

Whatever you want, I'll give it to you

Whenever you need someone 

To lay your heart and head upon.

Remember, after the fire, after all the rain

I will be the flame

I will be the flame

I'm going crazy, I'm losing sleep

I'm in too far, I'm in way too deep over you

You'll always be the one

You were the first, you'll be the last

Wherever you go, I'll be with you

Whatever you want, I'll give it to you

Whenever you need someone 

To lay your heart and head upon.

Remember, after the fire, after all the rain

I will be the flame

I will be the flame

Whatever you want, I'll give it to you

Wherever you go, I'll be with you

And whatever you want, I'll give it to you

~Cheap Trick~

gusto ko padin isipin na andito ka lang sa tabi ko T_T

IF ONLY...

It's worst than I thought.

I thought I was getting better at this.  It only took one picture then all of the walls I've built came crashing down on me.  I can't sleep.  I cried and cried.  Morning came and I still found myself crying, wondering when this pain will go away.   I feel helpless... I want to give up.

The truth is I can't lose you but letting go is the only choice I have.  I know I can never compete with her. What our memories compared to the ones you've got.  But you're everything to me and those memories are the best days of my life.  I guess love isn't really enough.

Why can't I just throw all our memories away?
Why am I still holding on to you?
Didn't I give you enough?

I don't know how to get through this.  I wonder if it's better to leave this city and forget all about this.
I wonder if you could see my tears and hear me now... will you be able to sleep?

If only I could remove this from my system, then it will be easier to say hello to you everyday.
I'll be able to look at you even when you're with her without feeling hurt.
My friends could be happier around me and I won't feel like I've been left alone.

If only...

I WISH YOU ENOUGH!

Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced.   Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said: "I love you and I wish you enough." 

The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom."   They kissed and the daughter left. 

The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" 
"Yes, I have," I replied.
"Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?" 
"I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral," she said. 

When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, "I wish you enough." May I ask what that means?" 

She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." 

She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory, 

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
 I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
 I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. 
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. 
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. 
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. 
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye." 

She then began to cry and walked away. 

When you look into your parent's eyes, you know that is the purest love you can find on this earth!  It is unconditional and they will always love you no matter what.  They accept all your flaws and they are the best friends you don't realize you already have since the day you were born.  You've learned the meaning of love because of them.  So when you go home tonight, give your parents a call or go see them personally and tell them how much impact they brought into your life and how much you love them!  Thank them for your life and for all of the sacrifices they've made for you.  Life is short, you'll never know when it will be their last...  

TAGPUAN

I took a long walk on my way home tonight.  It's probably what I needed to release some stress.  It's hard when you have to keep your feelings to yourself especially when you're too worried if he's okay or not. But sadly, I have to live with that.

Aside from that, I'm beginning to feel alienated at my second home.  There were moments when I tried to reach out to other people but they just shut me out.  I'm getting depressed at my workplace.  And when I get home, I keep watching HIMYM again and again just to feel good before I go to sleep.  Sometimes I imagine I was with Ted, Lily, Marshall, Barney and Robin... it'll be easier to feel that way.  I guess my anxiety and depression is really wearing me down.  If only I could run to him... but I can't so I have to live with that again! Oh well, back to my little adventure this evening...

So while walking, I decided to take some photos of the places where I never thought would be memorable. Forgive me but I won't elaborate more.  I just want to preserve those memories to myself and I hope he also remember those nights when we're still crazy in love... Boy, that was something!  And I'll be forever grateful for those memories!  And if fate permits, we'll have those crazy romantic moments again...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Do you remember the nights

We'd stay up just laughing

Smiling for hours

At anything

Remember the nights

We drove around crazy in love

When the lights go out

We'll be safe and sound

We'll take control of the world

Like it's all we have to hold on to

And we'll be a dream

Do you remember the nights

We made our way dreaming

Hoping of being

Someone big

We were so young then

We were too crazy

In love

When the lights go out

We'll be safe and sound

We'll take control of the world

Like it's all we have to hold on to

And we'll be a dream

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Nagbibilang ng sandali

Pintig ng puso ko’y bumibilis

Alam kong nadarama mo rin

Magkikita tayo muli

Parang batang kinikilig

Di mapakali at nasasabik

Mahawakan kang muli

Mundo’y ating iiwanan

Maaari lang sana

Dito na lang tayo

Sa ating tagpuan

Maaari lang sana

Dito na lang tayo

Sa ating tagpuan

Tagpuan

Ngayong gabi aking sinta

Sayo ang puso ko at kaluluwa

Pagkat ikaw at ako ay iisa

Magkikita tayo muli

Parang batang kinikilig

Di mapakali at nasasabik

Mahawakan kang muli

COME HOME...

If you could see behind the scenes, you'd understand that in time and space, 
NOTHING IS AS IT APPEARS TO BE. 

And you'd see that when someone seems to have been lost, 
they've really just reappeared, a little bit closer to home... 
and then you'll be pressed to wonder at the perfection of it all. 

Tallyho,
The Universe

I would like to believe that there's still a place for me in your heart.  That I haven't completely lost you.  That you're still dreaming to be with me. 

I would like to believe that someday I'll be found in your arms again... and we'll make a damn good couple living our dreams and enjoying the best days of our lives.  We'll have our little kuchi and achi that look just like us.  And when we reached our golden years, we'll sit on our front porch and we'll laugh at the past.  We'll stare at each other, hold hands and kiss like it was our first. 

Until then, I'll leave my door open for you.  Please come home... 

~One Republic feat. Sarah Bareilles~

Hello world

Hope you're listening

Forgive me if I’m young

For speaking out of turn

There’s someone I’ve been missing

I think that they could be

The better half of me

They’re in the wrong place trying to make it right

But I’m tired of justifying

So I say to you..

[Chorus]

Come home

Come home

Cause I’ve been waiting for you

For so long

For so long

Right now there's a war between the vanities

But all I see is you and me

The fight for you is all I’ve ever known

So come home

Oh

[Verse 2]

I get lost in the beauty

Of everything I see

The world ain’t half as bad

As they paint it to be

If all the sons,

All the daughters

Stopped to take it in

Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin

It might start now, yeah

Well maybe I’m just dreaming out loud

Until then...

[Chorus]

Come home

Come home

Cause I’ve been waiting for you

For so long

For so long

Right now there's a war between the vanities

But all I see is you and me

The fight for you is all I’ve ever known

Ever known

So come home

Everything I can’t be

Is everything you should be

And that’s why I need you here

Everything I can’t be

Is everything you should be

And that’s why I need you here

So hear this now...

[Chorus]

Come home

Come home

Cause I’ve been waiting for you

For so long

For so long

Right now there's a war between the vanities

But all I see is you and me

The fight for you is all I’ve ever known

Ever known

So come home

Come home

SO CLOSE BUT STILL SO FAR...

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful 
than the risk it took to blossom.

~Anais Nin~

I remember how it felt to be free and reckless with you.  We were so natural, so easy, and a lot of fun.  I remember how warm your arms were and how your eyes flicker at the sight of me.  I remember everything. From our nonsense conversations to our silent fights.  From our silly jokes to our pinky promises.

I know where I stand now.  There was never a gray line, it was just a part of my foolishness.  But would you understand if I told you how I really felt right now?

I missed you more than words can say.  Every night before I go to sleep I wish you were here beside me.  I missed how my tiny body fits in your arms.  And when I wake up in the morning, I still look at my phone wishing you would send me a message that you just woke up.  I'm still frightened at the thought that you were no longer here with me.  Perhaps, you never have an inkling of how much I needed you.

For so long, I concealed my feelings for you.  Then I took a chance and it felt great knowing there was a part of you that feels the same way that I do.  But I forced the timing and there's a price that I should pay. Coming back to the shadows, it was tragic.

My feelings for you is too strong that suppressing it at this point is impossible.  But I have to try harder and harder everyday.  You may see me laughing and cracking jokes every once in a while, but if you would just look into my eyes you would see how much pain I'm going through.

You don't know how my knees weaken when you're getting close to me.  You don't know how much I wanted to say those 3 words and be able to look into your eyes and plant a kiss on your lips again.  I couldn't hug you or even hold your hand.  I wanted to run to you but I can't.  I have to stay away to make things right.  It was hard to watch you again from a distance but I have no other choice.  SO CLOSE but still SO FAR.

This song pretty summarizes everything...

KNOW YOUR GIFTS!

Many are satisfied to play with mud pies when they ought to be making angel food cakes.  Many are building shacks when they ought to be building palaces.

Dr. M.E. Dodd

The story is told of a man who bought a ticket on a cruise ship, then took a supply of cheese and crackers on board with him.  Throughout the voyage, he retreated to his room at mealtime to sit alone and eat his self-imposed rations.  Near the end of the voyage, the captain sent for him and asked him if he was dissatisfied with the food service on the ship.  The man said "Well, the food certainly looks fine to me."

"Why then haven't we seen you in the dining room?"  the captain inquired.  "You once were observed sitting in your cabin eating crackers and cheese."

The man said, "I only had enough money for my steamship ticket.  I didn't have anything left for meals."

To the man's great dismay the captain replied, "The price of all the meals was included in your ticket!"

This man could have been eating breakfast, brunch, lunch, high tea, dinner and a late-nite banquet on the Promenade Deck.  Instead, he had settled for a diet of cheese and crackers - all because he has failed to take advantage of what was available to him.

Many times we see our lives in the same way.  We shortchange ourselves and fail to grab hold of all that might be ours, if we were only willing to realize we possess a ticket that includes life's abundant banquets.

God desires for you to prosper.  His ticket to life is all-inclusive.  Enjoy the feast!

If ye then, being evil, know how to give gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him!
Matthew 7:11

~ This is from the book Dare to Succeed by Van Crouch page 268 ~

A NITE WITH SPONGE COLA!

Thank you Yael for inspiring me tonight... and for giving me goosebumps.

I'll keep my head up high and never give up!

Sponge Cola @ Ayala Harbor Point

Maybe someday... he'll be here with me and we'll both share a lifetime of happiness, and we'll love forevermore!  There will be no day that we'll feel empty or alone.  We'll find comfort in each other's hands when things get rough and when the nights get cold.  We'll wake up each morning with a big smile on our faces just because we have a new day to spend together.  We'll ran around the streets at night, get drunk and laugh loud like idiots.  We'll do crazy stuffs and we'll dream together.  We'll kiss and cuddle like there's no tomorrow.  We'll bring out the best in each other and our differences will make our bond more exciting and stronger.  No obstacles or problems or fights will be bigger than our love for each other.  We'll be amazing that everyone who'll look at us will be inspired. We'll be the living proof that true love is worth the wait!  True love exists!  And when we leave earth, we'll find ourselves spending eternity in heaven.

I am hanging in here now, I hope he'll get to me as fast as he can. 

P.S.  Please don't let me spend this Holiday season alone... it's getting colder, so I really would appreciate you running faster to get home to me :)

Pagdilat, 
Ikaw agad ang hinahanap sa umaga
Nasaan ka na?
Malayo ka pa ba?
Kay tagal ng iyong pagbabalik

Minsan
Nahuhuli ko ang sariling nakangiti
Malayo ang tingin
Malalim ang isip
Kailangang magkita muli

Chorus 1:
Sa pagpatak ng bawat sandali (bawat sandali)
Nakatikom lagi ang aking mga labi (ang aking mga labi)
Inaaliw ang sarili sa musika (sarili sa musika)
Nananabik makapiling ka
Makapiling ka

Pagdungaw, 
Meron kayang mabuting balitang darating
Ihahanda ang pagngiti
Kasabay ng pagsambit sa ngalan mo
Pagdating ng sandali

(Repeat Chorus 1)

Lalong lumalapit
Araw ng pagsapit
Di magkukulang
Laging nag-aabang

Chorus 2:
Sa pagpatak ng bawat sandali (bawat sandali)
Nakatikom lagi ang aking mga labi (ang aking mga labi)
Inaaliw ang sarili sa musika (sarili sa musika)
Nananabik makapiling ka (sa pagpatak ng bawat sandali)
Makapiling ka (nakatikom lagi ang aking mga labi)
Makapiling ka (sa pagpatak ng bawat sandali)
Makapiling ka (nakatikom lagi ang aking mga labi)

Pagdilat
Ikaw agad ang hinahanap
Sa umaga...

And I can't wait to feel this moment... and to hug you sooo tight...