SO CLOSE BUT STILL SO FAR...

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful 
than the risk it took to blossom.

~Anais Nin~

I remember how it felt to be free and reckless with you.  We were so natural, so easy, and a lot of fun.  I remember how warm your arms were and how your eyes flicker at the sight of me.  I remember everything. From our nonsense conversations to our silent fights.  From our silly jokes to our pinky promises.

I know where I stand now.  There was never a gray line, it was just a part of my foolishness.  But would you understand if I told you how I really felt right now?

I missed you more than words can say.  Every night before I go to sleep I wish you were here beside me.  I missed how my tiny body fits in your arms.  And when I wake up in the morning, I still look at my phone wishing you would send me a message that you just woke up.  I'm still frightened at the thought that you were no longer here with me.  Perhaps, you never have an inkling of how much I needed you.

For so long, I concealed my feelings for you.  Then I took a chance and it felt great knowing there was a part of you that feels the same way that I do.  But I forced the timing and there's a price that I should pay. Coming back to the shadows, it was tragic.

My feelings for you is too strong that suppressing it at this point is impossible.  But I have to try harder and harder everyday.  You may see me laughing and cracking jokes every once in a while, but if you would just look into my eyes you would see how much pain I'm going through.

You don't know how my knees weaken when you're getting close to me.  You don't know how much I wanted to say those 3 words and be able to look into your eyes and plant a kiss on your lips again.  I couldn't hug you or even hold your hand.  I wanted to run to you but I can't.  I have to stay away to make things right.  It was hard to watch you again from a distance but I have no other choice.  SO CLOSE but still SO FAR.

This song pretty summarizes everything...

KNOW YOUR GIFTS!

Many are satisfied to play with mud pies when they ought to be making angel food cakes.  Many are building shacks when they ought to be building palaces.

Dr. M.E. Dodd

The story is told of a man who bought a ticket on a cruise ship, then took a supply of cheese and crackers on board with him.  Throughout the voyage, he retreated to his room at mealtime to sit alone and eat his self-imposed rations.  Near the end of the voyage, the captain sent for him and asked him if he was dissatisfied with the food service on the ship.  The man said "Well, the food certainly looks fine to me."

"Why then haven't we seen you in the dining room?"  the captain inquired.  "You once were observed sitting in your cabin eating crackers and cheese."

The man said, "I only had enough money for my steamship ticket.  I didn't have anything left for meals."

To the man's great dismay the captain replied, "The price of all the meals was included in your ticket!"

This man could have been eating breakfast, brunch, lunch, high tea, dinner and a late-nite banquet on the Promenade Deck.  Instead, he had settled for a diet of cheese and crackers - all because he has failed to take advantage of what was available to him.

Many times we see our lives in the same way.  We shortchange ourselves and fail to grab hold of all that might be ours, if we were only willing to realize we possess a ticket that includes life's abundant banquets.

God desires for you to prosper.  His ticket to life is all-inclusive.  Enjoy the feast!

If ye then, being evil, know how to give gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him!
Matthew 7:11

~ This is from the book Dare to Succeed by Van Crouch page 268 ~

A NITE WITH SPONGE COLA!

Thank you Yael for inspiring me tonight... and for giving me goosebumps.

I'll keep my head up high and never give up!

Sponge Cola @ Ayala Harbor Point

Maybe someday... he'll be here with me and we'll both share a lifetime of happiness, and we'll love forevermore!  There will be no day that we'll feel empty or alone.  We'll find comfort in each other's hands when things get rough and when the nights get cold.  We'll wake up each morning with a big smile on our faces just because we have a new day to spend together.  We'll ran around the streets at night, get drunk and laugh loud like idiots.  We'll do crazy stuffs and we'll dream together.  We'll kiss and cuddle like there's no tomorrow.  We'll bring out the best in each other and our differences will make our bond more exciting and stronger.  No obstacles or problems or fights will be bigger than our love for each other.  We'll be amazing that everyone who'll look at us will be inspired. We'll be the living proof that true love is worth the wait!  True love exists!  And when we leave earth, we'll find ourselves spending eternity in heaven.

I am hanging in here now, I hope he'll get to me as fast as he can. 

P.S.  Please don't let me spend this Holiday season alone... it's getting colder, so I really would appreciate you running faster to get home to me :)

Pagdilat, 
Ikaw agad ang hinahanap sa umaga
Nasaan ka na?
Malayo ka pa ba?
Kay tagal ng iyong pagbabalik

Minsan
Nahuhuli ko ang sariling nakangiti
Malayo ang tingin
Malalim ang isip
Kailangang magkita muli

Chorus 1:
Sa pagpatak ng bawat sandali (bawat sandali)
Nakatikom lagi ang aking mga labi (ang aking mga labi)
Inaaliw ang sarili sa musika (sarili sa musika)
Nananabik makapiling ka
Makapiling ka

Pagdungaw, 
Meron kayang mabuting balitang darating
Ihahanda ang pagngiti
Kasabay ng pagsambit sa ngalan mo
Pagdating ng sandali

(Repeat Chorus 1)

Lalong lumalapit
Araw ng pagsapit
Di magkukulang
Laging nag-aabang

Chorus 2:
Sa pagpatak ng bawat sandali (bawat sandali)
Nakatikom lagi ang aking mga labi (ang aking mga labi)
Inaaliw ang sarili sa musika (sarili sa musika)
Nananabik makapiling ka (sa pagpatak ng bawat sandali)
Makapiling ka (nakatikom lagi ang aking mga labi)
Makapiling ka (sa pagpatak ng bawat sandali)
Makapiling ka (nakatikom lagi ang aking mga labi)

Pagdilat
Ikaw agad ang hinahanap
Sa umaga...

And I can't wait to feel this moment... and to hug you sooo tight...